Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Me

Let's be honest, I'm not the most open person on the planet.  If you were to ask me how I'm doing on one of the greatest days of my life I'd respond by saying that I'm doing really well and leave it at that.  If you asked me on the worst day of my life, I'd probably tell you that I'm doing okay or that I'm hanging in there.

I don't know why but I've always had a difficult time opening up to others.  I'm an introvert and I'm very closed off unless I know you exceedingly well.  And even then I can easily be closed off.

It is an issue that I'm working on changing, but it's taking time.  More time than I would have thought but it does feel good to have friends again.  It feels healthy.

Without going into details, I ask for prayers from all of my family and friends out there (or anyone who happens across my blog).  Life gets complicated and rough.  You make poor choices and realize the idiocy of your actions only as you see their full ramifications.  It is humbling as the storm tears you down to your roots.

But the light in the darkness is that you're able to build yourself back up again and get rid of all the crap that has accumulated in your life that has masquerades as important and necessary.  That is what I'm attempting to do at the moment.

It is a daily struggle.  I find myself crying out the Lord daily, asking Him to make everything better.  The way that it should be.  But He doesn't.  It's a growing experience for me.  I like to think that I've done all the growing and changing that I need to and things will be put right tomorrow, but I know that's not true.  I don't know how much more there is--I hope I'm nearing the end of this but I cannot be sure.  All I know is that I cannot keep living the way that I have.  Change is inevitable and necessary.  I grudgingly embrace the change and pain that precedes it in hope that everything will be better than ever before in the end.  Lord please let that end come soon!

I ask, I beg, and I beseech all of you who are reading this to keep me lifted up in your prayers.  There is so much going on and I apologize for the vagueness of it all, but please pray for the God of Heaven to grab and heal everything.

I thank you all for taking the time to read this and for keeping me in your prayers.

3 comments:

  1. Hang in there brother. I too have had a difficult time. I never thought I would be where I am today. I will be praying for you everytime I pray. I get through my day by trying to stay positive. Remember that God has placed the challenges in front of us for a reason. I know it may not feel like it. We may not feel like we can make it through. But remember He will not give us any challenges we can not handle. It may not seem like we can at the time but we will push through. Try to stay positive and remember I am here to listen and not judge if you ever need or want. Love you. Hang in there

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  2. Love your blog!!

    Gal 6:9-10
    9 And let us not get tired of doing what is right, for after a while we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't get discouraged and give up.
    TLB

    Curt

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